Can narcissists wake up? Just like Charles Dickens’ Scrooge, narcissists need a traumatic event to awaken and raise their vibration.
One of my favorite stories of all time is A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. The main character in this story, Ebenezer Scrooge, goes through a transformation and has a spiritual awakening. He has narcissistic qualities, yet the story tracks his journey to waking up. He is a grumpy, cruel, self-centered old man without friends — much like the narcissists in our lives. All he cares about is his money and how to get more of it.
Three ghosts visit him on Christmas Eve to usher in his spiritual awakening through a shocking investigation into his life. Scrooge is an unlikely sort of person to have an awakening.
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His self-centered habits prevent him from seeing beauty in the world, let alone awakening to a new level of existence with knowledge of the unified consciousness. Here is an excerpt from the beginning of the story to illustrate this:
“Merry Christmas! Out upon merry Christmas! What’s Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older, but not an hour richer; a time for balancing your books and having every item in ’em through a round dozen of months presented dead against you? If I could work my will,” said Scrooge indignantly, “every idiot who goes about with ‘Merry Christmas’ on his lips, should be boiled with his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should!”
Likewise, the narcissists in our lives seem to be lost causes for spiritual awakenings. They are too focused on the wrong things in life. But let’s look deeper at this story to see why there’s hope for anyone. I will show you how a dark night of the soul can be a transformative event.
Warnings From the Spirit Realm
One cold and foggy Christmas Eve, Scrooge comes home from his office to find the ghost of his deceased business partner, Jacob Marley. Since Scrooge is on a path of darkness and selfishness, Marley comes to warn him of a life he will regret when he has passed onto the Spirit realm:
“Not to know that no space of regret can make amends for one life’s opportunity misused! Yet such was I! Oh! such was I!”
“But you were always a good man of business, Jacob,” faltered Scrooge, who now began to apply this to himself.
“Business!” cried the Ghost, wringing its hands again. “Mankind was my business. The common welfare was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance, and benevolence, were, all, my business. The dealings of my trade were but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my business!”
And after Marley leaves him, Scrooge sees where he might end up in the afterlife:
The air was filled with phantoms, wandering hither and thither in restless haste, and moaning as they went. Every one of them wore chains like Marley’s Ghost; some few (they might be guilty governments) were linked together; none were free. Many had been personally known to Scrooge in their lives. He had been quite familiar with one old ghost, in a white waistcoat, with a monstrous iron safe attached to its ankle, who cried piteously at being unable to assist a wretched woman with an infant, whom it saw below, upon a door-step. The misery with them all was, clearly, that they sought to interfere, for good, in human matters, and had lost the power for ever.
Scrooge’s awakening has begun, as he feels the fear of regret. He has never thought about his ability to assist another human being in need, and now he sees the eternal sorrow that will result in keeping his selfish ways.
Anyone, even narcissists, can awaken in their path. They must first be shown the bigger picture that they never thought about. They have to see that death is not the end, and our souls are on this journey together, just as Scrooge was shown. The thought of the afterlife and the eternal nature of existence is all they need.
After we pass on from this life, we don’t have our money, our material possessions, or our status. All we have is our knowledge and experiences, and how they’ve grown our souls. Scrooge sees this when he is aware of the plight of the ghosts, and this gives us hope that narcissists everywhere can start to wake up.
Facing Past Trauma and Consequences of Choices
Three ghosts visit Scrooge to show him his past regrets, the consequences of his present actions, and his possible future.
The first ghost takes Scrooge to his past to view his actions, which can now never be altered. He sees his boyhood, his first job, and his relationship with the love of his life. In all observations of the past, Scrooge is unfeeling and focused on money or gain.
Finally, the ghost shows him a woman who left him because of his greed. She sees that he will not change his ways. Like narcissists, who see others as nothing but extensions of their own gain, Scrooge is set on viewing every part of his life as a chance to get something out of others. Like all victims of narcissism, she is tired.
Scrooge is then shown where she is years later, with a happy family, married to someone else. Her husband tells her of seeing Scrooge in his office:
“Mr. Scrooge it was. I passed his office window; and as it was not shut up, and he had a candle inside, I could scarcely help seeing him. His partner lies upon the point of death, I hear; and there he sat alone. Quite alone in the world, I do believe.”
Seeing himself in the eyes of someone else, Scrooge is on the brink of breaking down at this point, and begs the ghost to stop:
“Leave me! Take me back. Haunt me no longer!”
So, he extinguishes the ghost, like shutting out memories of the past, and sits alone in his regret. If narcissists can also face their past through a realization of the consequences of their actions, they can start to wake up as well. But most people choose to forget the past; it’s too painful to face.
Next, Scrooge is visited by a ghost who shows him what’s happening in his current life, and the people he has a chance to exchange good energy with right now.
They observe the home of Bob Cratchit, his employee. Scrooge has been a horrible, cold, rude boss to this man. Cratchit lives in poverty and has many children. They see him with his youngest son, Tiny Tim, who brings light into their world. But Tiny Tim is disabled.
Scrooge begins to feel regret and empathy:
“A Merry Christmas to us all, my dears. God bless us!”
Which all the family re-echoed.
“God bless us every one!” said Tiny Tim, the last of all.
He sat very close to his father’s side upon his little stool. Bob held his withered little hand in his, as if he loved the child, and wished to keep him by his side, and dreaded that he might be taken from him.
“Spirit,” said Scrooge, with an interest he had never felt before, “tell me if Tiny Tim will live.”
“I see a vacant seat,” replied the Ghost, “in the poor chimney-corner, and a crutch without an owner, carefully preserved. If these shadows remain unaltered by the Future, the child will die.”
Scrooge continues his awakening by realizing he has the ability right now to change his ways and alter the course of many lives, and to possibly save others.
If Narcissists can feel enough regret about the way they’ve lived their lives until now, and then see that they can start acting differently right now, then they can start to awaken. However, to seal the deal they must see the results of living in this way by having premonitions of the future.
Enter: An Awakening
The final ghost shows Scrooge that his death in the near future saddens no one. In fact, many people are delighted that he has died. It also shows him that the Cratchit family is left destitute by his death because of the loss of income. Scrooge is shaken. He is terrified. The awakening has finally happened:
“Spirit!” he cried, tight clutching at its robe, “hear me! I am not the man I was. I will not be the man I must have been, but for this intercourse. Why show me this, if I am past all hope!”
For the first time, the hand appeared to shake.
“Good Spirit,” he pursued, as down upon the ground he fell before it: “Your nature intercedes for me, and pities me. Assure me that I yet may change these shadows you have shown me, by an altered life!”
He wants to believe that his changed attitude will make a huge difference in the world. So, he goes out on Christmas morning and spreads kindness through London. He is finally understanding the value of acting selflessly.
He has learned what the important things in life are. Overnight, he has transformed into a new person. I believe that this can happen to any of us.
Narcissists just need a traumatic or spiritual experience to snap them out of their selfish ways. Perhaps it will be in the form of a near-death experience or a visit from their spirit guides. Maybe they will “hear the word of God,” as some do.
Keep the faith that even the cruelest humans you know can awaken.
Conclusion
The people in our lives who only think of themselves and treat others without care are not beyond hope. Scrooge, like narcissists, had spirits watching over him that helped him elevate. Perhaps we cannot easily change the narcissists in our lives, but there are forces beyond the surface of reality that can guide them to a moment of reckoning.
We should simply send them our good energy and hope that this happens. If you liked this article, you can read Charles Dickens’ entire novel here for free.
