Where do desires come from and do they belong to you?
Desires. They drive us crazy. They make us do things. They give us the answer when presented with decisions. They are our motivation. But what are desires? How did we get them and from where did they originate? Can we tell the difference between a soul desire and an ego desire?
You didn’t choose them, and yet they are prominent in all seasons of your life. One might even argue that they control you. They’re in your mind, which we usually think is under the control of the owner and nobody else, and yet we don’t understand how they got there — and they dictate how we act, on top of it all.
Fears go hand in hand with desires. Your fears often decide how you’ll react in any situation, and your desires are often shaped by your fears. For instance, if you’re afraid of having no money, you’ll be motivated by a desire to get a high-paying job.
Let’s talk about the origin of desires and how we can live better by being more aware of them.
Ego Desires and Soul Desires
Desires come in different forms. We have ego-level desires and soul-level desires. The ego wants things like an ice cream sundae and to be in a relationship no matter the cost because it’s afraid to be alone. The soul desires to have fulfillment and ultimate meaning embodied within a lifetime through relationships and service to humanity.
Your soul desires are your deepest longings in this lifetime. They don’t easily change. They come along with your unique talents and skills that you innately offer to the rest of the human collective. They are a major and overarching driving force behind all of the mundane decisions of your life.
You might have a soul desire to be an actor who inspires millions with your portrayal of intimate emotions, and this will shape other desires and parts of your personality. You will only feel good when you’re pursuing this desire, even if you’re only on the bottom rung of a large ladder leading to it.
Ego desires fluctuate more than soul desires and sometimes seem petty. They are rooted in the avoidance of what you fear. They are often able to be instantly satisfied but can quickly become an addiction if you focus on them.
If your soul desire is to be an inspirational actor, your ego desires may center around the film studios you want to work for or the acting coaches who mentor you. But you can become distracted by ego desires if they get out of hand, for instance, if someone begins to lure you with money for becoming a film star, you forget the real reason why you got into the business in the first place.
Where Do Desires Originate From?
It doesn’t matter if the desires are from the soul level or ego level — we just don’t know where they came from. Do we really know why we have them?
If you don’t know why you have the desire, then is it really yours?
Soul-level desires must be there for a reason. If you believe that everything in life happens with a purpose, then even our existence here has a purpose, and our lives each have a purpose. The soul desires to fulfill its purpose, even if it doesn’t know where it came from. We just trust that things are exactly as they should be. We rarely question deeper questions of existence around why we are even doing anything.
So, we can pursue our soul-level desires with confidence and courage, knowing that we are fulfilling some kind of duty in this life. We may not understand why we have these desires, but they feel right. We just have a deep knowing that we are pieces of the larger puzzle of the universe. If you complete your part of the plan, great things will happen for us all as souls.
Ego-level desires are the ones that cause us trouble. We should stop and think about them more carefully because it’s doubtful that wanting a soft taco supreme from Taco Bell right now is satisfying some desire that’s for the benefit of humanity. And yet, these kinds of desires drive us nuts if we let them. They can radically change our lives and the way the day begins and ends.
Analyze Your Desires for a Better Quality of Life
When you’re obsessing over something, stop and think about where your desires come from. Understand that they aren’t necessarily coming from “you” — and maybe, just maybe, there is no “you” at all and your desires of any level are coming from dubious origins. A real desire is a soul desire.
The desires that depend for their fulfillment on the behavior of other people are the most frustrating because we simply cannot control others. We only control ourselves. You can’t make someone like you or make someone give you money. You can only focus on yourself.
This is why fulfilling soul-level desires is often more attainable. It depends on your own intentions and actions — no one else’s. Certainly, the world will present you with all manners of barriers to fulfilling your soul desires, but this is why it’s even more important that you reach for them.
So, next time you find yourself overthinking or obsessing, stop and wonder why you even have these thoughts at all. Why are you driven toward this thing that you want so badly? What would it take to attain it? If it depends on anything but your own decisions and actions, then I recommend letting it go. Surrender that desire to the universe and maybe it’ll be fulfilled, or maybe you’ll turn to something better.
The bottom line is: don’t succumb to desires that aren’t even really yours. Figure out why you have them and don’t let them control you — you get to choose what you want, not the other way around.
Hi, I’m Emily. In addition to writing, I also teach meditation, read tarot, create podcasts, and I’m a spiritual coach. I have a master’s in philosophy which often helps when I write about life.
For more about me, have a look at my services. If my writing helps you and you’d like to support me, you’re always welcome to buy me a coffee.
