Life doesn’t always go the way we planned. A lot of us think we have control over the way our lives are going, but the truth is, we don’t. We never did. And when the universe decides where your life will go, it’s hard to let go of the outcome you wanted.
You may have had ideals in the past to cling to. The ego loves ideals and romanticized hopes. But is life now forcing you to let go of them?
The ego is sometimes forced to “die” by life’s circumstances. It can be an incredibly distressing and depressing process to let go of all the things you thought made you happy. The universe may be pushing away all the things you thought you needed. It’s a confusing time. Ego death and depression go hand in hand.
Ego Death is the End of Illusions
Of course, what we call “ego death” is for your highest good. It’s a spiritual experience to lose all attachments to the hopes and desires you had about the material world. Love relationships, material wealth, and social status are examples of things many of us become attached to during a lifetime. We think they define us or they can be used to derive happiness for ourselves. But they are illusory because they are temporary. You don’t take them with you when you die.
The release of the ego means you realize what’s truly important before you reach the time of death when you’re forced to. You become aware that the important things in life are all spiritual. It’s a kind of death because when we die, we naturally let go of these things. But I have news for you: you can die many times before actual death.
After physical death, we carry on into the next realm with only the lessons we’ve learned, soul relationships, and the consciousness level we’ve reached. “Ego death” is when you keep living in this same lifetime without those attachments. It is the end of illusions. It is a rebirth. But the process of rebirth can feel insane.
Grieving the Old Way
Shedding the ego is a weird and wonderful experience. The problem with its process is that it can actually feel like death. You may grieve your old mentality.
When you’ve based your whole reality on certain pursuits and circumstances, it’s hard to adjust. A new reality must be formed without the expectations you once had about life. Love and happiness must begin to come from within. But before that happens, you may feel like you’re in a void.
The ego searches and searches outside the self for answers, comfort, love, and happiness. But the soul knows that the material world outside the self is not where these things reside. When the ego must admit that it was only creating its own suffering by searching relentlessly, it can feel very sad. Realizing you were wrong is very depressing — at least for your ego self. Nobody likes to admit they were wrong, especially about literally everything they’ve based their existence on.
Darkness and Depression
The shedding of ego attachments shrouds the seeker in darkness. A period of strange hopelessness accompanies a spiritual awakening. While you begin to understand so much about the universe and reality, you mourn the loss of the “old you” and the ways you operated in the mundane world. Now everything means something, but you also have to accept life just the way it is.
No more expectations about the future. No more excitement about life that is based on what you can acquire, gain, or produce — unless it’s soul-based.
Most people wake up every day with some sense of purpose that is derived from physical-level pursuits. When you no longer have that, you don’t know why you’re getting out of bed in the morning. You have to quickly formulate a sense of purpose based on something totally different — something spiritual in nature.
If you linger in the in-between state too long, you may slip into a very hopeless, depressing, terrifying place where life has no meaning. Trust me, you won’t want to get out of bed and you may not even want to be alive.
Get Yourself Out of the Darkness
Your spiritual life provides the reason to live. Your soul gives you the answers and the path. But the outside world absolutely doesn’t. In fact, for the true seeker, the “outer” path often becomes extremely challenging, forcing an inner sense of trust despite all hopelessness on the physical plane. This can be a very lonely and sad path if you haven’t fully stepped out of the ego mind.
If you are headed in this dark direction, know this: depression is a choice. You must find the inner strength to take one step in front of another, trusting the universe to provide the path. You must let go of what the ego once attached to in order to find a path. That was an illusion. Choose to believe. Find hope from a place within. Stop expecting the world to meet your needs for love and support. You must provide those for yourself, and then you’ll conquer your darkness.
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About Emily
Emily is a writer, coach, intuitive reader, and content creator with a background in philosophy.
