We all go through episodes of darkness. We all question existence. Or…do we? I assume that we all do these things. But how would I know, since it’s so taboo for people to talk about this topic? Maybe it’s just those of us who are awakened. Maybe there’s a connection between depression and spirituality. It can lead you to some very dark thoughts.
I certainly have moments where I question why I’m even here. Life seems so hard and I want to just check out. I see that death isn’t the end, so why is it so bad to think about how I might make it to the other side? People freak out if you say you wish you were dead because they think you’re trying to hurt yourself, but if they could only understand — it’s not the same thing at all.
It’s not a bad thing if you wish you were dead sometimes. It’s just an extension of wondering “Why was I born?” and other existential questions. It’s a sign that you’re self-reflective. You’re having a spiritual awakening.
I don’t recommend staying in this dark mindset, however. It will only lead you down a darker road. But if you do find yourself wishing you didn’t exist, don’t be too hard on yourself.
It’s a sign that you understand death.
Contemplating your existence is healthy. It’s a sign that you understand death and that you know what you are. You’re a soul having a human experience.
Death is nothing to be afraid of.
Death isn’t scary. This life was always going to end one day — everything in this dream is temporary. You were never guaranteed any amount of time here in this story. But your soul endures.
The soul pervades many lifetimes. It exists outside time and space. Being “dead” for us means very little to the soul. So, wishing you were dead is only the ego’s expression of the enduring nature of the soul. It’s a morbid way of saying you wish you were a spirit without a body. Why is that bad?
Yes, society frowns on you. So what?
People are terrified of death. They don’t want to talk about it. They spend a lot of time, energy, and money trying to avoid it. They have themselves convinced that we’re all entitled to live forever.
They think that talking about something that is inevitable for every single one of us is unhealthy, and they’ll do anything to shut you up if you try to speak about it rationally.
Join me in not giving a f*#k about what anyone thinks anymore. We need to normalize talking about death. People should stop living in fear, and we have the ability to help them. We can help just by talking about it without fear.
We’re awakened — we know death isn’t the end. We sometimes want to talk about existence and what happens when we die, and we sometimes want to know what it would be like to be dead right now. Maybe it would be better somehow? We can’t know this for sure, but we should be allowed to address these things philosophically without having everyone around us freaking out about it.
I don’t care what society frowns on. Death is a thing — just like birth. There’s no point trying to sweep it under a rug.
Don’t die on purpose.
I want to briefly add that just because you sometimes wish you were dead, this shouldn’t mean that you actually try to make that a reality. You might feel like you’re about to die or you are curious about what would happen if you died tomorrow. You may even want to live each day as if it’s your last — I certainly try to.
But don’t cause your own death on purpose. Even setting an intention like this is not a good idea.
We chose to come here and do this. We are alive and we were born on purpose. There’s a plan here. Don’t terminate that plan before its natural ending. Don’t intervene in the great design of things.
You are meant to be here as part of a great story, so don’t ever try to alter the ending yourself while you’re alive. The consequences, wherever you end up after death, will not be pretty. And I’m not even sure any of us really can change the script to that extent, so why even try?
If you’re depressed, I’m sorry. I am, too. But we have to find a way to keep living.
Stay strong and keep the faith.
I once asked someone who had lived through a war and had seen immeasurable destruction and tragedy how they could still want to live. While enduring all of that, wasn’t there a time when they wished they were dead? Why keep going? How does one retain a will to live?
Their answer was that they never lost their faith. All of the people around them kept going because they kept faith in God.
Whether you call it God or the Universe or Spirit, it’s all the same. You must trust that things are working out just as they need to. You must see that the lessons you’ve learned were always meant to be yours. Embrace them.
And if you ever need to talk, book a spiritual guidance session with me.
Hi, I’m Emily. In addition to writing, I also teach meditation, read tarot, create podcasts, and I’m a spiritual coach. If this writing helps you, you’re always welcome to buy me a coffee.
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