I was never meant for the corporate world. I ask questions and I analyze the system. Managers don’t like that. They pretend to like curious minds, but in the end, most managers can’t take criticism. I never fit into their world where success was only possible by kissing ass and turning off my philosophical assessments. But the world raised me to believe I wasn’t a success unless I was in the matrix system of careers and climbing some kind of ladder. Because of the programming of society, I was able to gaslight myself into believing that my corporate job defines my life.
I wondered, “Why do I keep getting fired?” After being fired from five different full-time jobs over the course of fifteen years, I realized that this pattern was trying to tell me something. I worked in various offices doing various administrative things like enrolling students in overpriced adult education programs, event planning, and assisting executives. More recently, I was also a teacher and a software engineer.
I was always let go because of some seemingly made-up reason, meanwhile being told by clients, students, and customers that I was great at my job. Once, it was simply because I was an executive assistant and my abusive boss was fired by the CEO, so I had no one to assist. The only job I didn’t get fired from was the one I really liked, and that was when I was a teacher in South Korea. But even there, I was moved suddenly to a new school just after winning an award for teacher of the year because one of my Korean coworkers didn’t like my style.
I learned that being good at your job is not a factor in success.
All that matters in the success of your job is whether the manager likes you and that’s usually because you kiss their ass a lot and never question what they’re doing. I can’t play a role like that in good faith — it is not in my nature. I always have to analyze things. I also realize now that managers don’t like it when you’re too good at your job.
Jealousy is everywhere. Adults in corporate environments can be vicious and immature. They lose sight of what’s important in favor of their careers that don’t really matter in the grand scheme of the universe. Sometimes, they simply hate any employee who is truly joyful in their soul-sucking office environment.
Don’t be like these managers. At the end of the day, all that matters is how you treat people, not the benefits you reap from your dealings.
I never was able to place my selfish needs above the good of the collective, so I was a terrible employee. Managers wanted me to try to climb a ladder but to their disappointment, I wasn’t chasing status or money. If every employee acts out of pure self-interest, the company works perfectly because the managers are able to control the staff with incentives. If those incentives are no longer more valuable than the actual good of the world, then the whole thing falls apart.
Companies, especially startups, love to make you think they’re saving the world when all they’re doing is providing more ways for humanity to be wasteful. And I always saw right through this.
I hated to be part of a mass delusion in the workplace. I hated to be part of humanity’s and nature’s destruction simply because I needed to make a living. I didn’t like supporting a mission that was totally imaginary. I couldn’t turn off the part of my brain that was horrified by the system.
I wanted to make money and have a cool job in an office with exposed bricks and people who dressed like they’re on a runway, but I didn’t care about the actual things we were doing. I never managed to find a job that made any difference to the world except teaching.
So, I was repeatedly fired. These jobs sucked my soul. I couldn’t do it anymore. After the last one — where I was a software engineer working on an app that the world doesn’t really need — I had to seriously question where I was going in my life.
Here’s the spiritual piece of this story: the universe had me fired over and over because corporate life wasn’t my path. I know this now, and I try never to question the universe in its infinite wisdom.
As terrifying as freelance work seemed, I had no choice but to try it. And I also had finally awakened to the realization that my work needed to be spiritual in nature. I needed to help humanity heal. I had to do the work that actually makes a difference.
I know now that when I try to force something in my life to work that isn’t meant for me, I will fail over and over. The universe will not allow it to work out. This goes for jobs and relationships.
Take this message and apply it to your own life: are you repeatedly trying to traverse a life path that isn’t meant for you?
Now I am doing fulfilling work. It’s been a couple of years. It was very hard starting out, mainly because I didn’t trust it yet. I knew I had to keep going, but voices kept telling me to “get a real job” and to stop living in a fantasy world.
I see now that I have the ability to offer people a very unique service that they’re very happy to pay me for. It’s a win-win. And that’s how it should be. Making money should never be a struggle. Work should be a pleasure for you and your clients/customers.
If it’s meant to happen to you, the universe will make it easy. If it’s not meant for you, it will always be an uphill struggle.
Now I read tarot, teach meditation, and do spiritual coaching. I only need to ask my spirit guides for more opportunities, and they come to me. I am in a state of flow. I am good at what I do, and it is incredibly fulfilling. I have found my calling. The universe takes care of me.
Find a trusting relationship with the universe and you can’t fail.
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