Love and relationships have broken me. I no longer see the appeal. Why should I go chasing after something that has never fulfilled me? The only reliable source of love comes from within myself. Many people focus on the benefits of being in a relationship, but now I don’t understand the point of seeking happiness in another person. I want to highlight the benefits of being single and free. Let me help us all celebrate the beauty of being “alone” and peaceful.
You see, the idea of a partner repels me right now. This is very strange since, for most of my life, I have craved one. I went from relationship to relationship in my twenties and thirties. More recently, since I turned forty, I have dated quite a bit but it has never turned into anything significant or long-term.
The problem is that I know what love is and I can’t settle, so the ways other people approach dating just never work for me. They see it as transactional or a means to an end. I don’t want to end up in a relationship based on physical attraction, status, or illusions. I want the real thing — love.
I’ve noticed that many people don’t believe in magic. But I believe that there is a spiritual meaning in everything and that every soul that I meet has a lesson for me. If you don’t believe in a higher power that is keeping reality moving, then you may think of dating as a very mundane and lustful activity. There is nothing new left to discover in that state of mind.
So, many people treat dating like a numbers game. They think if they keep trying to force two personalities to work in different combinations, eventually one of the combinations will stick and the two people will stay together for a while. But this life isn’t for me — I am not dating just for the sake of dating.
I am not in search of a partner simply because society tells me everyone should have a partner. I don’t crave a relationship anymore because it isn’t a source of fulfillment in my life. I have no drive to keep trying to find any way to be less lonely. I would rather be out at a bar by myself reading a book than with a man who I barely know. I don’t want to force a personality to fit with mine — what’s the point?
I used to see the point of all of this, but it seems that it’s a never-ending battle now. It’s an exercise in constant pain and disappointment. Most people in this world aren’t ready for real love. And when I thought I had found love in the past, it didn’t last or the person died. The only love that endures is the one I have always had in my own heart.
I am happy being single because now I know that from this place of stability, I am able to love others better than before. Without expectation of what they will give me or how they’ll make me feel, I can offer love wherever I go. It’s a very clear-headed level of consciousness. I feel real love, beyond all the confusion and disappointment. And love doesn’t have to just be for a man; I see it in all people and all things. It is everywhere.
I want to live a life of fulfillment and to do that, I have to be helping people. When I distract myself with dating and relationships, it diminishes my ability to focus on humanity. I haven’t yet found a person I could merge with who enhances that life mission, but I am open to it. However, I won’t go looking anymore. I am happy being single and in a place where I can spend my time and energy on what really matters here on earth.
So, I remain single and I’m enjoying it. I create my own path and listen to my inner voice. I’ve released the attachment to the idea that something outside me can bring me happiness. What’s inside me already fills my cup.
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Wow! Thank you. I’m an old guy, and my wife of 40 years died almost 6 months ago. I’ve been spiritually active for many years and to be honest, our marriage had degraded to the point of being a business association. Also, grief sucks.
Over the last 20 years I’ve felt that life was very much as you’ve put it in this article. Not needing another person in your life to make you whole seemed wrong though, and out of honor and dedication to family and children we stayed together.
So here i sit, in front of a computer in my 70’s. Alone in my house, which used to be filled by a family of 4 and it’s okay for it to be this way. I couldn’t anymore imagine another person living here than being comfortable in jumping off a ledge on Mt. Everest.
Cool. Thanks again.
David
So glad to hear that this resonated, David! I am only 41, but I can completely understand what you said. You’re also very brave. Being alone may be exactly what the universe wants for you right now. New and amazing things will open up fo you, I’m sure of that! Thanks so much for reading.