Life isn’t meant to be lived in perpetual sadness.
Imagine waking up on the other side to find that you’ve died. You start a life review, watching the journey of your human existence as if you’re in a movie theater. You are emotionally connected with every moment of this life, feeling regret as well as triumph for the ways you used your time on Earth.
You meet with relatives and friends who have died before you, waiting to welcome you into the next realm. It’s the happiest of reunions. Great understanding floods into your consciousness and love seems to be the only thing that matters. You wonder why you ever forgot that this place existed since you’ve been here many times, and this is where you departed from when you were born into your Earthly life.
But imagine this: you spent your final years of life in grief over someone you dearly loved. It’s been hard for you to heal and move past this grief. Although you’ll never “move on” from their memory and the loss, you knew there was a way to live happily again, but you didn’t do it.
Maybe the grief even took over half of your lifetime. And then, one day, you show up in the after-death realm and you see this person, who has been doing just fine there all this time. What goes through your mind at that moment? Had you wasted precious Earth time grieving the loss of someone who was never lost? Could you have been happier? Could you have let go of the grief at some point in time?
I don’t have all the answers, but I had a dream a few years ago that taught me this lesson. At the time, I was deep in a pit of grief over the loss of someone I dearly loved. I was being stubborn, clinging tightly to this grief and allowing it to define me. I didn’t want to be someone who wasn’t grieving this person. That scared me.
To let go of the grief felt like a betrayal. I was choosing to be unhappy. So, a dead relative visited me during my sleep to give me a message.
This relative who died many years ago appeared in the dream to tell me about his dead brother. He himself was dead. He had died over 30 years ago (an untimely death). But in the dream, he was crying because his brother had died. He was beside himself with grief.
I woke up and felt the ridiculousness of the situation: grieving while dead. Clearly, he was already in that place where his brother had gone many years before, so what reason did he have to be sad now?
He’d carried such deep grief throughout his life, even to the grave. The message shook me. “Don’t grieve so much that you are still grieving after you die,” came a voice. It was a warning not to waste my precious human life on sadness. It was telling me to let go of the pain. It was not serving me.
I don’t want to be that ridiculous soul who shows up in the spirit world still hanging onto this idea that grief defines me. When I am reunited with my loved ones, I don’t want to face them with this baggage. I want to show them that I truly lived my life to the fullest. They would want this for me, too.
It would be incredibly silly to say to them, “I kept crying for years and never moved on, and I’m still sad that you’re dead,” while I myself am also dead. Do you see the irony there?
Life is meant to be lived. You’ll see your people again. Your time here is very short, and none of us knows how long we have left here. Don’t waste time. Grief is a valid emotion; it’s overwhelming, and it needs to run its course, but there will come a time when you are able to choose it. My advice is: don’t. Let go; be free.
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The Dark Night of the Soul is one of the most challenging times in a spiritual journey. Learn how to survive it and use it for the greater good.
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