Are you going through a spiritual awakening feeling alone? It’s not easy walking a spiritual path. Most of us don’t have the option to become a monk in the Himalayas, although I suspect I was exactly that in a past life. Some of us are needed in the confusion of matrix-level humanity. We’re required to be hidden in the mundane-seeming daily life on Earth. In cities full of greed and fears, we must be added to the mix. So we take on roles of regular suburban-dwelling folks, almost in disguise. The collective needs us everywhere, not just in ashrams and temples.
But when you are “awake” and surrounded by people who don’t see the deep meaning in everything, it is very lonely. You may have to walk a path of solitude most of the time. You have been placed in darkness so that you can be the light.
I am currently located in the suburbs of Washington, D.C. and it’s almost mind-boggling to consider why the universe put me here. This is a city of very sad and fearful energy. It’s full of people who want power and control, indulging in greed and destruction for their own means. This is just a normal mentality where I live. I don’t fit in here at all.
I was born here and many times in my life, I successfully escaped to the four corners of the world, only to find myself here again. And to be honest, my spiritual path began while I was here, against all odds, and I know that there is some great plan for me here that has yet to be revealed. I am aware that there are no accidents in the universe and I must try to elevate the collective consciousness as well as I can in the position I find myself here.
But, oh, it is lonely! It is painful. I am on this journey seemingly alone, just hoping every day for someone to find me in the crowd — in the coffee shops I visit, or the supermarket — who gets it.
I haven’t given up, but it hasn’t happened in a while. When I speak to people in my geographical vicinity, I slip back into my ego-role of a suburban white mom who cares about all the surface-level things the other parents care about. But I come home and collapse, having held up a persona for hours, and I long for someone to just turn to me and say, “Have you ever died?”
When you have a spiritual awakening, the path is beautiful but soon, you’ll find that it is lonely.
As we awaken, our vibrations increase. Suddenly, we’re in the clouds and everyone else is still on the ground. We must continue to vibrate higher — this is evolution. Eventually, we will all vibrate high enough that we will no longer require physical bodies to exist and explore the self.
All of us are at unique stages of this spiritual evolution. We’re breaking free of the illusion while most others are still shrouded in darkness and confusion. We know who we are, and others don’t understand what that even means.
As you vibe higher, your friends change. Old friends may not fit anymore. All they may want to talk about is surface-level stuff. And you want to talk about consciousness and energy. They want to talk about toxic relationships and you want to talk about soul healing. They don’t see the spiritual significance of events because they are always looking for a reason to hold onto fear and create separation from others. You are shedding anything in your life that no longer matches your frequency.
It’s okay, they are on their path. And I am on mine. You are on yours. But it’s hard to accept at times that you just don’t vibe with the same people anymore.
I am lucky in that my parents and family are accepting of my choices now. I am not living a conventional life. I live in a city full of government workers and elite companies who are constantly trying to create systems for the collective, and yet I am no longer in the system. I certainly was in it before for years — I was an office worker, a software engineer, an event planner, and an executive assitant. I know what it feels like to be a cog in an orchestration. It’s the weirdest sensation ever to have escaped the matrix and yet still live in it.
I am on the fringe of society, but I hope to be a mover of energy toward the light. I am a channel for good. I am a healer for the weary. But no one sees me until they are ready for what I offer — I am invisible to most.
If you are on this path, too, and you are lonely, I recommend focusing on what you can do to raise the collective vibration. Start with your inner healing. Work on your soul. Embrace the loneliness, because you are all you ever really had anyway. Know yourself deeply, then teach others to know themselves.
It is said that when you do this work, your new friends will just gravitate toward you. You’ll attract your new tribe if that kind of thing is meant for you. There is no need to search. Just be and manifest.
Tarot Readings
Emily offers tarot and psychic readings to help you understand your life’s journey. These are done by Zoom, phone, or email. Ask questions on any topic you like!
Buy the Book
Emily’s latest book, Messy Meditation, is all about the struggles of any meditation practice. This is a realistic path toward inner peace, embracing the darkness and the light.
Manifestation Meditation Course
Meditate, journal, interact, and learn about creating your reality with your mind in this Manifestation Meditation Course with Emily on Zoom. As a group, this is so much more powerful because we can pool our energies!
