Contents:

Introduction: The Universe Wants Us to Laugh

Part 1: Metaphysical Malarkey
Welcome to Soul University
Same Shit, Different Life
I Wish I Was Dead, But Not in a Bad Way
No, You Didn’t Manifest Your House
You Exist but You Aren’t Real
How to Totally Lose Touch with Reality

Part 2: Sarcasm and Silliness
You Are a Soul Having a Sandwich Experience
Enlightenment Is Too Hard
Seeing Synchronicities? Do Nothing
Signs That the Universe Wants You to Eat a Sandwich
Will These Spirits Please Just Tell Me What They Want?
Twin Flames Must Be a Joke, Right?
Super Easy Spiritual Life Hacks
Secret Habits of Highly Spiritual People
I Don’t Need Another White Feather
Thoughts of Spiritually Awakened People
How to Convincingly Pretend That You Enjoy Being Alive
Why Don’t You Like My Jokes About Death?
‘Toxic Positivity’ Is an Oxymoron, You Moron

Part 3: Consciousness Is Corny
None of These Thoughts Are Even Mine!
Practice Mind-Emptiness, Not Mindfulness
Life Is a Puppet Show
Sandwiches Are the Best Part of Consciousness
The Irony of Searching Outside for What’s Inside
Can I Get a Vacation From Spirituality?
Health Schmealth
Be a Dog in Your Next Life