I have the answers that people seek for overall well-being, but they don’t want it.
“People don’t understand what it’s been like for parents in this pandemic,” says a woman in a Facebook group for local moms that I belong to. “How do we juggle a job, kids, housework, and self-care? This past year has been so stressful.” I’m a single mom so I get where they’re coming from. I am also a wellness coach. I lead guided meditation sessions. I teach Ayurveda for overall wellness and daily habits. Yet, when I post these free events for people to heal and de-stress, no one from these groups signs up.
I have posted a few free guided meditations in that mom’s group, offered virtually and with no obligation other than to show up. One of these events was a meditation session specifically for parents. I run these events frequently. I’ve sent out the links to sign up for weeks now through neighborhood listservs, my daughter’s preschool, my network on Facebook, and LinkedIn. These are large groups of hundreds of people, many of who know me personally. Some have known me for years and some just met me recently. Yet, no one signs up.
No one signs up except total strangers who found me on social media. My clients so far are total strangers. From around the world, no less.
What is going on?
People don’t want to heal
I’ve learned that the people who complain about their stress levels and anxiety are not interested in actually healing. Or, they’re so attached to their habits and familiar routines that they can’t conceive of a new routine that might heal them. Regular meditation or a new idea about their daily rituals and schedules just doesn’t mesh with them.
They want a bandaid. They don’t want to listen to any new ideas. They want to stay safe in their worlds, even if it’s causing them discomfort or even if it’s killing them. They are too scared to listen to someone talking about this weird thing called Ayurveda to allow it to heal them. They are too attached to their busy minds to allow themselves to slow down and see what’s really in there.
They want to focus on whatever pill they can take to lower their stress so that they can go back to posting on Facebook about recommendations for yoga pants and contractors who can build them a deck. Whatever’s easiest, right?
Deep, meaningful healing? That is not in their worldview, so they don’t want to try it.
So, what’s going on here? I have two theories.
No one who knows me in real life likes me
Maybe I put people off. This is my first theory because I naturally assume that I am an outsider, and I am working on shedding this limiting belief. But it might actually be true. Maybe I am abrasive or people feel repelled by me.
Or, more possibly, maybe my energy is on such a different level from all the people I’ve hung around with until now (excluding family) that they are actually repelled by me. They don’t know why, but they feel uneasy around me because they can sense, at a deep level, that I am willing to push them out of their comfort zones. Our “vibrations,” as some people call it, literally are at odds with each other.
I’m open to helping all people, but I can feel when my message simply will not resonate with a person. So, I don’t talk about wellness and oneness with certain folks, such as the parents waiting outside the school at pick-up time, because there’s no point. It won’t resonate and it will end badly. It will be an interaction filled with friction.
So, maybe the people who are geographically located near me are just not ready at the deepest level for what I’m offering.
I need to make new friends
My second theory is that I just need to find a new group of people to surround myself with. Sometimes I think we need to change the circles we are in if we want to grow. Maybe I am in the correct geographical location to inspire the people who need it most, and that might happen eventually, but the people who resonate with my energy already aren’t here. So, maybe I need to find a community in some other way.
These total strangers who found me and signed up for my meditation classes are changing my life. I am beyond grateful to them. I need to focus on what’s going right instead of what’s going wrong.
Ultimately, when you change your mindset and the energy you’re putting out there, the people around you will change. New people will enter.
I’m just going to go with it.
Things aren’t going the way I expected
I am struggling with letting go of the need to control the outcomes of my dealings. I thought people would be as convinced as me that their health and wellness needed a reboot. I thought all the smart people I’ve known my whole life or those in my general area would be on board and ready to support me. But I was wrong.
A whole new group of people are on board and ready to support me instead. This is not what I saw coming, but I will embrace it.
