When you’ve experienced loss, sometimes it takes all of the strength that you have just to exist. Getting out of bed can be hard and finding a reason to make it to the end of the day may be a nearly insurmountable task. And yet, when you are grieving, do you notice that people around you give very unhelpful advice about how to heal? Meditation can help on a mental health journey when there hasn’t been great (and recent) trauma, but it isn’t easy to do when you are all but drowning in the waves of grief.
Even spiritual friends may tell you to do things that just don’t work when you’re in such a deep state of grief that you can barely function. An experience of loss can be isolating and hopeless, even for those of us who have found a soul-level higher awareness. We seek answers when a loved one has transitioned to the next life. No matter how spiritual you are, it is natural to miss their earthly presence.
Meditation Sometimes Doesn’t Help
Meditation may be offered as a way to overcome your pain. For those who have dedicated themselves to the practice, we know that many of the answers we seek are found in a deep state of meditation. But if you’ve experienced the loss of someone very close to you, you will know that meditation is very difficult while you process grief. At other times in your life, spiritual practices such as breathwork, meditation, and spiritual healing exercises may make a huge impact on a journey of inner healing. But grief is different.
Grief moves in unexpected ways and at its own pace, often surprising you with emotional tidal waves. It doesn’t respond to everyday kinds of healing work; the only thing that seems to change it is time. And even time can often seem powerless to heal your deep sadness. Grief is a great expression of love, and in the moment, it seems as though the passage of time will never heal it. You just have to give yourself space to let the feelings rise and fall within you.
To process and heal from a loss, you must submit yourself to the universe’s timeline and release control. Sometimes all that you can do to heal is just be. To try to do more in order to speed up the process of healing is pointless. In a grief journey, just being alive is often the most courageous act you can perform.
Meditating Through Grief
When you’re ready, you may want to try meditation to process the loss. But remember that as soon as you focus your awareness within, the thoughts and emotions that you had been pushing out of the way will come to you. They will present themselves to you so that you must process them, front and center in the manifold of your mind. So, be ready for meditation to be a very difficult thing indeed.
Grief requires that you look deeply at the events that have transpired so that you can understand, process, and forgive. It may take years for you to finally find acceptance. Go slowly and forgive yourself.
Meditation can help in grief, but forcing when you can still barely breathe isn’t advised. When your inner world is ready, then you may begin. When a bit of a desire to move forward in life re-appears, it might be time. A dedicated meditation practice is best (instead of meditating haphazardly) because it establishes a routine for the mind to heal. If you try to meditate every day, some days you might not “succeed” but the intention will be set and eventually, inner healing will commence. It’s inevitable.
Grief Healing Isn’t Linear
Although some meditation sessions may be full of pain, you will make progress if you make space for yourself. Honor your grief. Allow it to be what it needs to be. Acknowledge it as part of you and don’t try to separate yourself from it. Meditation can help with the integration process.
Just because you are dedicated to your inner healing does not mean that the progress will be steady. Grief healing isn’t linear. Some days will feel lighter and then great sadness may wash over you the next day, making you feel as if you have been set back to the early days of your journey. But this is just the mind’s way of revisiting the painful experience to find out if the inner chaos has settled yet. It is the way your spirit heals from trauma. You must immerse yourself in the memories over and over until you have the inner calm to process it and find peace.
So, if it seems like your meditation practice isn’t working, have patience and persevere. Grief is like a pendulum, and when you meditate, you are helping it swing toward the light a little further each time, even if it seems to swing back into darkness often. Give yourself grace and celebrate the fortitude it has taken just to get to this point in your journey.
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