For those of us who have known someone who we identify as a twin flame in our lives, we know that nothing will ever be the same. Surely, every person you meet changes you somehow, but a twin flame makes reality seem totally new. Your life purpose comes into clear focus and anything you’re doing that isn’t highly spiritual in nature feels messy, off-topic, and even wrong. My twin flame died and this is what happened.
If your twin flame is dead, it becomes a struggle between lifelong grief and a pull to complete a life mission.
It feels dirty to pursue anything at all in this life that isn’t somehow elevating humanity in a big way. Any purely self-serving pursuits like romance, money, and pleasure seem morally abhorrent. The only things that seem to really matter are those that are bigger than yourself.
It’s a struggle, but it isn’t a bad thing. This is a gift. Waking up is always a gift.
The Experience of Twin Flames
Twin flames, to me, aren’t even about people anymore — it’s a name for a certain kind of soul experience. The person I identify as my twin flame died over a year ago, but the experience lingers on. The experience pervades all things for me.
And some days I can barely function. I wonder what the fuck happened to me. I can’t understand why I am having this experience when all the people surrounding me have no inkling of it and no interest in it. I have experienced the greatest, most earth-shattering love that a human can have, but it seems that most people aren’t interested in that kind of thing. They don’t believe it exists, so they don’t even seek it.
Twin flames are an experience of unconditional love.
Universal, Divine Love
This love I know came through a person to me, but its source is the universe. When he died, I realized that love is expansive, pure, and divine. It is everything. I just needed him to show it to me so that the first door was unlocked. Now I know how to unlock all the doors.
And yet, I miss him. And I feel like I’m losing my mind all the time.
Just Doing My Best, I Guess
I’m just doing my best as long as I am here on this planet. Things don’t make sense, memories are painful, and life goes on. Sometimes merely the fact that life goes on is hard. Sometimes it’s glorious.
Although my twin flame died, I’m okay being alone now, though. I want to just do my best and try to help people, and if I don’t find a romantic partner in this journey, it’s okay. I have a lot of friends that are amazing — who, funnily enough, I’ve met because of my writing on this subject — and that is more than enough.
I can do this alone. I know that now.
Trying to Do What’s Right
Some days, it’s hard to ‘do the right thing’ spiritually. What I mean is this: some days I want to just lie down in bed until the day is over and watch time pass me by. Not being productive or helpful to anyone, just existing.
Some days I want to be a non-useful member of society. Some days I want to indulge in self-pity and sadness, just because. Sometimes I don’t want to work on my human relationships and I want to just stick my head in the sand.
Sometimes the energies of other people are too much for me to handle and I can’t offer them the assistance and compassion that I usually think I should be offering.
I let myself have days like that. I allow it. And it’s not really doing the right thing, because the right thing is to stay hopeful and positive and try to continue living my life in ecstatic joy of every moment I still have on Earth.
I’m Just Figuring It Out
Sorry, but it’s true. I am not perfect. Sometimes I slip, spiritually and morally. As much as the twin flame experience has woken me up to my purpose here, sometimes I don’t feel like doing it anymore.
But I am still here. My twin flame died, but I didn’t. And if I pursue my spiritual mission even half the time, I assume that’s better than what a lot of people on this planet are doing. And if you’re feeling the same way, you’re doing great, too. Keeping up the image of a spiritually awake human is no easy feat.
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About Me
Hi, I’m Emily! I am also on the twin flame journey, as the experience of losing my twin flame awakened my psychic abilities and sent me on this path to help others.