How to Know If It's Not Your Twin Flame - Emily Wellness & Oneness

I try never to judge anyone’s twin flame story. Anything is possible, and I certainly don’t claim to know it all. But I do have quite a bit of experience with my twin flame clients. I have the ability to see things in comparison when someone tells me about their twin flames.

What I am about to say may not be a way to rule out someone being your twin flame with 100% certainty. But I hope it will help you come to your own conclusions.

After joining some online forums where strangers post multiple times a day complaining about the behavior of their twin flames, I felt compelled to write this. Not everyone is a twin flame. Just because it’s a hard relationship, you feel strongly about them, or they’re avoidant, does not mean it’s a twin flame.

Perhaps some people just miss the part of this journey that calls on them to look at themselves. It’s part of the spiritual path. I believe it awakens us and forces us to look within. If you are so used to blaming things outside yourself for all your problems, I could totally understand the habit of blaming your twin flame for their ‘toxic’ behavior.

I just think that the point of this journey is an awakening past your regular inner cycles of mayhem. It’s about getting off the hamster wheel of constant fear and blame. It’s about realizing that you’re the one responsible for your suffering, and relationships are mirrors. Taking emotional responsibility is a courageous act and can be terrifying, but the twin flame gives us no choice.

So, here are three signs and reasons it may not be your twin flame. I hope the following helps you as you navigate these twin flame forums and all the confusing articles all over the internet.

1. There is mostly anger and resentment

If you and your twin flame are just fighting, this doesn’t equate to a twin flame relationship. Twin flames may fight, but there’s always a deeper, often inexplicable sense that neither person wants to hurt the other. There’s love that transcends the fleeting moment. It’s a totally different type of relationship from what you may be used to.

A person who is just complaining about their twin flame all the time probably hasn’t really met their twin flame. This experience introduces you to the true meaning of unconditional love. You don’t publicly complain about someone you love that much.

If you’re constantly in a place of anger and fear, your heart isn’t open. Since twin flames open each other’s heart chakras, it’s hard to believe that any twin flame would be able to stay so angry and resentful.

I’ve seen people on forums saying that they’re so mad at their twin flame and they don’t care if they die. Others call their twin flames all kinds of nasty words. I’ve seen them rabidly angry about how their twin flames are invading their inner space. I just don’t see this as a true twin flame response to a situation because if it were, the person would be speaking from a place of total love.

There’s a chance that the person who has a lot of anger directed at their twin flame just isn’t fully awake to the experience — but that is a contradiction in itself, if you ask me. The experience awakens you. Fundamentally, this is a smack in the face from the universe to stop being so angry and let love in.

2. It’s intentionally hurtful

Your twin flame shouldn’t be trying to hurt you. This is toxic behavior. There’s no bond in the universe that will require you to expose yourself to abuse. If your twin flame is verbally, emotionally, or physically abusive, it’s probably not really a twin flame — with one possible exception.

Since twin flames are mirrors, there’s a possibility that your twin flame is teaching you that you lack self-love by giving you an experience of toxicity. Perhaps they are playing a role to force you to choose yourself. Or, they may be mirroring your inner hurt and toxicity to make you aware of what you need to heal.

I still don’t think true twin flames can act in such harmful ways toward each other, but if yours is doing this, the answer is to choose sanity and self-love and leave the relationship. Nobody, even your twin flame, should be able to treat you badly on purpose. But often, twin flames accidentally hurt one another. That’s a different story.

So, if you think it’s a twin flame but there’s intentionally hurtful behavior, you might want to reconsider. It may be another kind of relationship. Whether or not it’s a twin flame, it’s teaching you a soul lesson.

3. There’s no aspect of a spiritual awakening

The most important sign that it’s not a twin flame is that there’s no aspect of a spiritual awakening. Meeting your twin flame is a huge awakening — if you haven’t experienced that, it’s hard to believe it’s a twin flame.

Perhaps you just haven’t experienced it yet. Or maybe you have, and you downplayed it. This is possible. But without it, there’s really no point in meeting them.

You aren’t here to meet your twin flame just to fight and call each other names. You’re here to elevate your consciousness. This is why I firmly believe that the label “twin flame” doesn’t even matter; what matters is the spiritual lessons you’re getting from the experience.

None of the other aspects of the twin flame journey is as important as this one. It doesn’t have to be a romantic experience. It can be platonic. It doesn’t have to resemble any “normal” relationship at all. You may not have ever been on a date with this person or even met them face-to-face. The weirder the story is, the more likely it is that it’s a twin flame — in my opinion.

If you’ve been seeing rainbows and repeated numbers since meeting them, this is likely a twin flame. If you’ve unlocked psychic gifts and you feel like you knew them in a past life, this is a twin flame. If you are discovering how to heal yourself, this is a twin flame. These are all parts of a journey that awakens you to realize there’s more to reality than you usually think.

The twin flame experience may blow up your life, so to speak, but it changes it in the most beneficial ways for your soul journey.

This is an awakening. This is the real gift.

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Hi, I’m Emily! Talk about your twin flame and spiritual journey with someone who gets it. Understand the purpose of this experience for you. I provide guidance in the form of talk sessions and psychic readings. Read more about me here.

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