When you lose all hope, this actually may not be a bad thing.
I think the goal for all of us, via the many pathways of our individual lives, is to find nirvana. We have to seek bliss — enlightenment. And the way to do that is very simple but very difficult for us humans: we have to release attachments to things. We must let go of the ego.
Since 99.99% of all people around us are fully plugged into the matrix and are mindlessly attached to all kinds of things, it’s hard for one person within the system to let go. There’s no message on TV telling you how great it is to stop being attached to material possessions. Our therapists don’t want us to stop being attached to relationships. Teachers have endlessly encouraged us to be attached to our identities. It’s hard to break free.
There are many people in the world who make money off of what we are trained to be attached to — literally banking on our egos. Reality isn’t set up to let us look at things in another way.
Normally, when you break free from ego attachments, you stop worrying about stuff. But sometimes the process is super depressing.
As you let go of what was so important to you yesterday, you may feel like you’re sinking. Your money doesn’t matter. Your relationship doesn’t matter. Your health problems don’t matter. Your social status doesn’t matter. Nothing matters.
Reading these words can terrify the best of us. We want something to matter. Desperately.
Attachments Feel Like a Purpose
We’re grasping tightly to our attachments. The ego tells us to act upon the idea that all this stuff matters. We develop fears about losing money relationships, status, and health. Then, we act on those fears.
After a while, life becomes nothing but a set of routines and learned behavior that is only designed to avoid what we fear — losing what we’re attached to. We have stopped thinking about what really matters to the soul.
We have to stay connected with the soul. You know, deep down, why you’re really here. You have an individual purpose. It’s beyond the physical — more important than your money, relationships, status, or health.
When we let go of the purpose we’ve attached to for a long time, like climbing a career ladder, it can hurt. You’ve likely already put in so much hard work and effort to attain this illusory success you’ve been running after. Letting yourself be okay with all of that hard work going into the trash can feel awful.
Darkness and Confusion
When you engage in “ego death” as the attachments fall away, it can be really disorienting. You’re so used to hanging onto some big thing that gives your life meaning.
Your dreams to open your own business, write a book, or travel to Egypt were what motivated you and got you out of bed in the mornings. But no more. You have nothing to cling to now! Your ego has died.
Without anything to give you purpose, you may just not feel like getting out of bed in the mornings at all.
Depression Comes with Ego Death
After ego attachments fall away, you may be really depressed. You may enter a dark night of your soul. It’s a period where your ego is battling to stay in control.
During this time, you may be bombarded with thoughts about what you need to stay afraid of losing. The mind becomes confused about what it needs to care about. What is the focus now? What gives life meaning?
Paradigms must shift and realities must shatter if your ego is going to die properly.
Hi, I’m Emily. In addition to writing, I also teach meditation, read tarot, create podcasts, and I’m a spiritual coach. If this writing helps you, you’re always welcome to buy me a coffee.
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The divine in me recognizes the divine in you.
